Yesterday was an achievement. Today is back to square one.
How does it get you so easily now?
Well done,
smart girl.
How you gonna work with swollen eyes again.

Oh I would still do anything to have that five minutes smoke.
Would still wait up the whole night for that minute over the phone.

Don't think I can send this one off that day,
not so soon,
maybe next time.

days
just got darker
nights
just got scarier 

the past came back like a boomerang 
knocked her to the ground 
can she ever come back up

can she get used to nightmares
if so someone tell her how 
maybe she shouldn't even try to sleep anymore 

times like this
just needed to be by his side 
but god knows when will be the next time 

but for now 
no need to be afraid of tears anymore 
let them gomaybe you can get better sleep like that

breathe darling, breathe..

but i miss him so bad

and i don't know what to do

you will be just fine darling..





you will be just fine

hey tooie, how's your day? 
sorry it started out that way 
but you know i don't do things without reasons 

nothing much for me today but 
there were still so many things i wanted to share w you 
so the girls hung out around peace centre , parkland and pomo 
for a good 3hours 
met w steph's ex (lol) 

bitched about hmmm w the girls 

saw dori on his way to work 
wow the whole place smells like you after work heh 

qing got nail polish and 
i love the black n white dots! 

sat at macdonalds for a while, 
heard you drumming 
i miss you baby 

saw your cologne and took a whiff of the sample, 
cause i can your lokai still smells like you! 

oh and my sis turns 17 today 
i told her to wish for a prettier sister hah 

mum bought the cake but she thought it was me 
she was so touched so i rolled around laughing 

and mum saw my smiley holy... 
but sis helped me get away with it 
she said no fighting on her birthday 
smart. 

your sweater still smells like you by the way

love you baby
i really do.

strength;
thought i was stronger
but last year proved otherwise

tears;
became the next best friend
but it aint helping anyways

issues;
you've got too much

fix it

fast

off the switch to silent mode
close your eyes but
baby don't you fall asleep
he never say when he would call
but he will...
             he will.

                   31/12/14        10:39
                       am i ready for 2015?
        everything felt so right this time last year.

first time in my life spending new year's eve at work
remember we used to visit all our working friends on nye?
i swore i would never spend a day like that working

it got more crowed towards midnight
people came in groups
big groups like us

cursed to myself as she stood on the table with the mic
              i so not want to be here right now
watched fireworks on the screen and felt all kinds of shit

                     two and a half more hours
two and a half more hours baby
i will be in your arms
and everything will be okay again